Sunday, March 30, 2014

Live Blogging: "The Walking Dead" Season 4 Finale, Episode 16, "A"


Current show runner Scott Gimple co-wrote this finale, and so I expect to have my mind lulled. Prove me wrong Scottie!


What does the cryptic title of the season finale, "A" mean?
 
The Terminus we were introduced to last week was a ghost town. I understand our cast of survivors are desperate but after Woodbury, I just don't understand their lack of any skepticism. Mary obviously intends to eat them. I don't even read the comics and I know this. 

Okay, here we go.

Hershel? What a pleasant surprise. What are you doing here? This is a flashback to the prison. This is Rick's flashback. The flashback had little to do with anything but when it ends we see Rick looking bloody and traumatized. Uh oh. We're about to find out why. Opening credits.

So many commercials. 5 minutes in and the episode hasn't even started yet. They waste so much time in a precious hour.

Rick, Carl and Michionne are camping. They talk about being really hungry and head off to check the snares. Carl has had a growth spurt. Hunger doesn't quell Carl asking a bunch of questions, including the philo-nonsensical "Who are we?"

They kill a walker. They examine a trap. Carl pulls a bozo move running off to the sounds of a someone crying for help, with Rick and Michonne chasing after him. Carl is really grating on me lately. Walkers are everywhere.

Flashback again to conversation between Hershel and Rick back at the prison. As much as I like Hershel, I'm not feeling this. Why are they stuck in the past when they have barely moved the story forward this season? And the flashbacks don't seem to be adding anything momentous.

Back to the present, a mob of walkers are on Rick and co.'s trail. They find a car. This leads to nothing.

Now, they're sitting at night in front of a campfire by the car. Again, campfires are used recklessly and with no explanation. Finally, Michonne questions whether Terminus is legit to Rick, but where is Carl? They hear a twig snap, stand to attention, and then pretty much ignore it. 

Surprise, the villainous gang have caught up and ambush Rick. The leader Jeff? Joe? puts a gun to Rick's head stating the obvious: "You screwed up asshole."

Joe states that today is the day of reckoning. Carl who was sleeping in the car is rudely awakened. Joe starts a countdown to shooting Rick which is interrupted by Daryl. Daryl puts down his crossbow - my misgivings about this being a good strategic move are realized as Daryl gets his ass beat down.

Ew, a filthy man starts licking Carl's ear. Filthy man is trying to rape Carl! Right when things look like they will be really dreadful, Rick bites Joe's neck. This completely disorients the other villains who basically just stand there in shock and get picked off one by one. What a relief!

Cut to commercial - okay, this seemed to end well for our heroes. Why the opening trauma Rick?

Back to another Hershel prison flashback. Hershel is teaching Rick about farming. Why is this part of the finale?
Hershel is saying that Carl needs his father to show him a way that's more than just shooting. Hershel says they all owe Rick. Hershel has faith that they can make things better even as Rick expresses skepticism.

Cut to traumatized Rick from the opening scene. Oh, I guess the trauma was just from ripping a man's throat out with his bare teeth. There are worse things to be traumatized over as alluded to by the previous scenes. Rick and co. have made out pretty well, especially the reuniting with Daryl part. Rick calls Daryl his brother. Aw sweet. 

Now, the gang continues their trek to Terminus. The dialogue is pretty flat and involves a lot of proclamations of being "okay."

The gang arrives at Terminus. Carl gives Rick the cold shoulder, and joins Michonne on scouting. This prompts Michonne to reveal to Carl how her son Andre died which also explains how she figured out the walking with walkers camo. Michonne says Andrea and the others brought her back from being a monster/gone. Carl explains that he's not what Rick thinks he is - that's he's just a monster too. 

Rick and co. bury a stash of weapons before they sneak into Terminus. They encounter the residents of Terminus but where's Glenn/Maggie/Sgt. company?

A dweeby looking guy named Gareth welcomes Rick and co. claiming that they found sanctuary. Gareth is suspiciously cheery and I already can't wait for him to die. Phony Gareth politely asks for weapons to be relinquished and then Rick and co. are patted down. The weapons are returned, so what was the point of the weapons check?

Rick and co. are introduced to other members of Terminus, including Alan and Mary, who is asked to fix them a plate of something ambiguous. 

Rick notes that Alan is carrying Hershel's watch that was gifted to Glenn. Rick springs to action and accosts Alan at gunpoint. Rick's comrades draw their weapons also. Where's Glenn!?

Prison flashback. This is the worst time for another useless prison flashback.

Back to the present. Rick questions Alan at gunpoint about the watch, the riot gear and Maggie's poncho adorned by members of Terminus. Gareth is full of lies. Shooting breaks out. Rick and co. run away - good thing they're bullet proof and/or the snipers are intentionally missing to herd them.

The group is led to a room full of burning candles and strange foreboding messages on the wall. They run back outside only to be surrounded.

Rick and co. are instructed to drop their weapons by Gareth, who is backed by snipers, and so they have no choice but to comply. Rick is instructed to go to the train car. Daryl and Michonne are instructed to follow. Carl is allowed to join them. So why have them go separately? 

Gareth instructs that they enter the train car in that order. Carl is really dragging his feet. 

Hurray, Glenn and Maggie and co. are there also. Well, not hurray exactly, cause they are all trapped inside of  a train car. 

Rick says "No" powerfully but I'm not sure why.

Back to another useless farming flashback at the prison.

Cut back to Rick, who says "They're going to feel pretty stupid when they find out..."

Sgt. Abe and all home viewers: "Find out what?"

Find out what "A" means? Find out that this is all that leads up to waiting several months for the next season.

Rick dangerously peers into the camera and closes with: "They're screwing with the wrong people."

Crickets chirp in my living room, bringing to a close an "A-nnoying" "A-bject" "A-nesthetized" season.

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Live Blogging: "The Walking Dead" - Season 4, Episode 15, "Us"

I missed blogging about the first half of the episode as I was eating pie.

So far, the highlights have been Glenn selfishly making a bunch of bad decisions and Daryl learning that the prevailing rule of his current villainous company is calling dibsies.

In another dopey exchange between Carl and Michionne, we also learned that in this world, "Kit Kat" is "Big Kat."

Okay, less than 20 minutes left. I like that this episode isn't entirely dedicated to just one faction of the separated cast, but still not much has happened.

After being annoying the entire first half, Eugene redeems himself.

After being annoying the entire first half, Glenn redeems himself.  

9:41-9:45 was very good before we cut back to commercials.

Right when Glenn pauses being annoying, Maggie picks up the slack.

Uh oh, the bad guy gang reveals who they're tracking (Rick), why (strangling their buddy in the house) and to where (Terminus).

Terminus is revealed, with a greeting by a creepy old woman. Yea, hello Governess.

Overall, this episode would have made for a good half of a great episode.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Eff GrubHub




Imagine, you get Chinese takeout at 5 pm. You request extra soy sauce. You pay with your credit card. The next day at noon, you are given a call by Kung Pao Panda informing you that your credit card has been charged an additional $4.99 for the extra sauce from the previous evening. Does this seem legit to you?

Well, according to GrubHub, an online food ordering service, there's nothing ludicrous about it at all.

GrubHub allows users to order food for delivery and takeout from restaurants through their website or mobile app. It's a convenient way of identifying multiple restaurants that will deliver to your location, viewing their menus and ordering online instead of through the phone - if you don't mind the usual extended delivery times, at least an hour in my experience and sometimes even longer.

So, I was charged $2.75 for extra sauce on a pizza order through GrubHub. Somewhat obnoxious, but nothing earth shattering there. Here's what set off my inner ornery old person - I was notified via email by GrubHub about the additional charge to my credit card, without my permission, about 4 hours after I ate the effing pizza, when the restaurant contacted GrubHub directly.

How does a vendor, who has my authorization to make a specific one-time transaction using my credit card info, have the right to make additional charges to my credit card without my permission and with no prior notice?

According to GrubHub customer service, this sentence on their website: "Add special instructions here (additional charges may apply)" allows for this. Um, no. "Additional charges may apply" does not equal "we can make additional charges on your credit card if we feel like it without telling you, well after your order is already processed and eaten."

Also, there's no notice to consumers of GrubHub's policy, as they communicated it to me, which allows restaurants to contact GrubHub to make additional charges to your credit card, up to $5, within a 24 hour period, without requiring authorization by or prior notice to the customer/credit card owner. Apparently, this is what you sign up for when you use GrubHub's third party service to order food.

I'm pretty sure that's illegal

 
Needless to blog, I got my damn $2.75 refunded after debating my case to 4 different customer service representatives. It wasn't about the money - it was about calling out GrubHub on their ridiculous policy. I won't be ordering through them again.

The Voice (Season 6) - Blind Audition Rounds

How the eff did Blake Shelton not turn around?




I don't think it's really fair to pit duos against individual competitors, but these guys were effing cute.



Also, on occasion, Adam Levine is hard of hearing.


Friday, March 21, 2014

This Is Your Brain On Drugs

The Question (featuring the ex-best friend and defendant):



The Sobering Answer


Further Proof:
 
Any Questions?

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Live Blogging: "The Walking Dead" - Season 4, Episode 14, "The Grove"



As I await tonight's episode, I ponder: When will Carol die already? When!?

It also crosses my mind that it's pretty convenient to invent for Tyreese a lover who lasts less than half an episode just to set up this tension between him and Carol.

Water boils in a copper kettle as someone looks out a window, watching playing children, as we hear really old music with an ominous overtone. Start opening credits. That was it?

Carol and weirdo Lizzie are sharing the night watch, discussing Terminus and whether kids will be there. Lizzie claims she saved Tyreese. I make a mental note that Lizzie needs to die also.
Lizzie asks Carol if she had kids. This has never come up before between them? Lizzie makes more annoying comments. Maybe they can take out Carol and Lizzie in one walker herd swoop? Carol dismisses Lizzie advising her to get to sleep and that's one of the first useful things Carol has done ever.
Tyreese is sleep talking.

By day, Lizzie finds tree sap which Carol applies to Tyreese's wound to stave off his infection. They have some boring conversation.

Later, the foursome make their way down the train tracks. Where's Judith? Is she in one of their backpacks?
All of a sudden Judith materializes in the next scene, way too large to have been in Carol's backpack as the show purports.

Repeatedly throughout this episode, the "foursome" break up to allow for personalized interaction between two characters but this seems flawed as a survival strategy. In the absence of Carol and Mika, Tyreese leaves Lizzie alone to examine a walker on the train track. He would have come to you - oh no, wait, this walker can't actually walk, after falling on the train tracks and not being able to get back up. Lizzie advocates against Tyreese putting the walker out of its misery and Tyreese listens for no good reason.

Inexplicably off on a stroll of their own, Carol talks to little Mika about toughening up. This little one actually realizes that her sister is messed up. She's the smartest of the group. She calls out Carol on murder being wrong. Carol is being really creepy trying to convince Mika to be a murderer. Mika says that her mother said that everything happens for a reason as they stumble onto something excitedly but I'm not sure what.

After the commercial break, I learn that Mika has found pecans, for which she enthusiastically proclaims her love. I prefer cashews although pecans are probably safer. Pecans... a pecan farm? A pecan grove!
Judith has disappeared and reappears again as the group approaches a house in the middle of the grove.

Carol and Tyreese invade the house to examine it, leaving the gun with Mika who has already stated that she won't shoot anyone. I suppose that's because of Lizzie's walker anti-killing stance.


Outside of the house, Mika waits with the vacant-looking Lizzie who holds a comatose Judith. Lizzie and Mika debate whether walkers are people. Not suddenly enough, a walker stumbles out of the house. Mika wastes bullets but finally nails the walker as Carol and Tyreese emerge from the house. Lizzie mourns. Mika tries to comfort Lizzie. Lizzie is seriously mental.

By nightfall, Lizzie continues to call Carol "Ma'am." Mika enthusiastically claims a raggedy doll and names her "Grisilda Grunderson." This is actually amusing to me. Mika tells Tyreese to relax and that they should live at the grove.

The next day, Carol is boiling water. I guess she was the creeper watching the children from the window? Lizzie is playing tag with a walker child - OH! THAT is the ominous scene from the opening!

Carol rushes out and knifes the walker in the brain. Lizzie freaks out. This child needs corporal punishment. Tyreese witnesses Lizzie raging at Carol for killing her "friend." Lizzie is seriously deranged.

More has actually happened in the first 25 minutes of this episode than in any other episode so far post mid-season finale and so, while these aren't my favorite characters, I'm surprisingly okay with it.


Carol continues to try to toughen Mika up on another afternoon stroll. Who the eff is watching Lizzie after her apocalyptic meltdown? Carol and Mika encounter a deer, which Carol encourages Mika to shoot. This girl misses everything at point blank range and so I'm not afraid for Bambi. Do they have that much ammo to waste? Mika comes through, stating that she can't shoot the deer.

Later, Tyreese shares quality time alone with Carol, suggesting abandoning the plan to go to Terminus and instead living at the pecan grove. Tyreese states that he knows Mika and Lizzie, and that he trusts Carol. Poor stupid Tyreese.

Meanwhile, Mika discovers Lizzie feeding a rat to the trapped walker at the train tracks (solving the weak mystery of who was feeding the walkers at the prison). Mika and Lizzie have another walker existentialism debate. Lizzie considers changing into a walker to be like them. A burnt zombie herd emerges, demonstrating that walkers are impervious to fire (perhaps, crispy from the fire set by Blondie and Daryl?). I wonder why Lizzie runs, given her delusions. Mika stumbles. Nooo Not Mika!!! She's my new little favorite!

Carol and Tyreese emerge with guns, and Mika thankfully escapes. Carol sucks at shooting also. Lizzie gets a clue and joins in on the shooting, along with Mika and Tyreese, disposing of the walkers. Judith was MIA again. It's truly preposterous that Judith is still alive.

There's a commercial break every 4 minutes. This is lame.

That evening, stupid Lizzie is ranting again by the fireplace. She claims that she knows what she has to do now. Carol says something trite. My thoughts wander to considering how Carol maintains her haircut post-apocalypse? Carol and the girls mess with an endless supply of pecans in the kitchen.

The next day, Carol and Tyreese walk the grounds again, for no discernable purpose. Carol and Tyreese agree to stay. Tyreese tells Carol that he dreams about Karen. Carol looks like she is struggling not to pass gas. Tyreese goes on and on about Karen (dude, what about your sister, Sasha?) and Carol says nothing with a really guilty expression on her face that is escaping Tyreese. Carol looks like she's about to break. No Carol. Don't offer your stupid confession now. NO, you cannot be that dumb. Whew... Carol has better sense than Carol. Tyreese says that Carol has done right by everyone and hugs her.

Carol and Tyreese walk along and have more boring conversation. OH MY GOSH, please, it's like the same scene as before but the expanded cut. Carol offers the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts, and Tyreese talks about the difference between stupid and stupid good, which I already know from watching this season.

Carol and Tyreese return to the house and encounter Lizzie with a bloodied knife standing over a body. OH MY GOSH NO.
Lizzie has killed Mika (Judith is still alive, again against all odds).

Time to put down Lizzie. I am too stunned to write anything. Shit just got real, and good, and real good.

Carol convinces Lizzie that everything is cool, and Tyreese escorts Lizzie and Judith into the house. Carol breaks down. This shit is sad, but finally a good episode with the least likely cast members. Goodbye sweet Mika you little angel. Sucks you have a shitty sister.

Carol and Tyreese have a convo in the kitchen coming to terms with the fact that Lizzie is a psycho. Tyreese realizes Lizzie is responsible for feeding the prison zombies and also for conducting a gruesome rat crucifixion - which seems inconsistent with her pro-life stance?

Carol leads Lizzie away from the house. Tyreese watches from the window. Carol tells Lizzie that she loves her and shoots her.

Carol and Tyrese bury Lizzie and Mika.

After nightfall, Carol passes her gun to Tyreese and confesses her murders. Poor effing Tyreese. Carol tells him to do what he has to do. Tyreese would never survive on his own. Tyreese says he will never forget but that he forgives Carol, but he looks real ominous and unstable as he's saying this. Carol thanks him. Tyreese says there's no need to stay at the grove anymore.

Carol and Tyreese leave the pecans behind as we hear useless voiceovers from the departed children. In their wake, remains Lizzie's walker friend on the train tracks. Cut to Talking Dead where tonight's guests (including Melissa McBride who plays Carol) are all in tears.

Wow, finally a good episode but for reasons I could not have predicted. After a long flatline, Walking Dead finally comes back, but time will tell whether it has resuscitated or simply reanimated.

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Live Blogging: "The Walking Dead" - Season 4, Episode 13, "Alone"


Opening starts with close up on Bob, the doc, with a beard, which of course signifies that this is a flashback. He is a lone wolf surviving, well, alone. There is another weird folksy country song playing. Bob looks depressed. This is depressing. He's walking around some more somberly. Bob is picked up by Glenn and Daryl, who quiz him with Rick's "test" questions. It seems really easy to pass the test and Bob joins the gang. End flashback and opening pre-credits scene.

Maggie, Sasha and beardless Bob fight off zombies in the fog.

After Blondie injures her foot in a trap, Daryl picks her up and carries her for about two feet. He sets her down in front of an old grave/headstone where they hold hands. Beth repeatedly refers to Daryl as a "good guy" throughout this episode. I wholeheartedly agree.

Maggie, Sasha and Bob see the signs for Terminus. Maggie wants to go to Terminus because she is convinced that Glenn would follow her there but she can't articulate her convictions using any sound logic. Sasha sensibly makes an argument against navigating a dangerous path to an unknown destination. Bob supports Maggie, just cause. Revelation, Bob was a vet student.

Daryl and Blondie discover a funeral parlor and get cozy.

Blondie plays the piano by candlelight to draw zombies or because she is an idiot.

Maggie abandons Sasha and Bob, not wanting to risk their lives in her search for Glenn on route to Terminus. Maggie eviscerates a walker to leave a bloody message for Glenn on a map to Terminus.

Sasha and Bob have a heart to heart. It is boring and so I tune out. I also largely missed a scene where Blondie's efforts to nab herself some Dixon are succeeding, only to be interrupted by a dog setting off the walker tin can alarm - this happened while I was wrestling away my laptop from my 23-month old nephew who has been wanting to watch the same youtube video featuring a choo-choo train 50 times. This probably beats the Walking Dead.

Daryl opens the door without looking and the funeral parlor is overrun by a zombie invasion. Daryl instructs Blondie to wait for him outside, diverting the walkers. He bravely fights his way out of the basement and escapes the house, only to see a car speeding away. Blondie's bag remains on the ground. It looks like she may have been kidnapped. 

Sasha and Bob continue to follow the train tracks searching for Maggie. Sasha identifies a place where they could stop and nest. Bob is the voice of hope and makes a move on Sasha to encourage her to keep the faith. The kiss was a miss. Bob leaves Sasha to continue his search for Maggie. Sasha looks on confused.

After Bob ditches her, Sasha enters an abandoned building. This doesn't seem like a great plan. Sasha starts crying.

Sasha walks over to a window and sees Maggie lying on the ground next to a truck. Sasha draws a lot of unnecessary attention by accidentally causing the window frame to fall noisily to the ground. She runs out of the building looking for Maggie, drawing walkers behind her.

Sasha and Maggie fight off zombies. Maggie beheads a walker with a shovel. What was Maggie doing lying on the ground amidst a bunch of walkers? Maggie explains that she peaced out cause she overheard Sasha tell Bob that the odds were that Glenn was dead. Maggie believes Sasha is wrong. Maggie says that she was waiting for Sasha and Bob to catch up cause she needs their help. Maggie figures it's okay to ask Sasha to risk her life, because it wouldn't be for just Glenn. Maggie is alluding that Tyrese will be at Terminus too.

A forlorn Daryl, sitting on the ground all alone, is surrounded by a gang. He aims his bow at the gang leader, who introduces himself as Joe. You know Joe is going to be real bad news, because the creepy looking actor who plays him is always cast as a villain, including as a magic/drug-dealer on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Joe invites Daryl to join their gang "to hurt people" instead of going all kamikaze. Daryl is forced to accept.

Bob walks the train tracks by himself, this time looking inspired - an upbeat version of the country song from the opening highlights the sharp contrast to the bearded Bob of old. I actually like this weird country song now. Bob's faith is rewarded - Maggie and Sasha catch up.

The episode ends with a close up on Glenn examining a sign for Terminus.

This episode was not as awful as last week's episode, but that's not saying much.
Next week's episode looks like it focuses solely on Tyrese, Carol and the kids and so the prognosis is negative.

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Live Blogging: "The Walking Dead" - Season 4 ,Episode 12, "Still"


Daryl and Blondie are in the trunk of a car hiding from a herd of raging walkers, probably attracted by late night open campfire making.
Cut to, they are still hiding. They exit the trunk... Daryl gathers supplies from the car. They look at each other wordlessly. Daryl walks away from car. Blondie follows Daryl. Cue thrilling opening song ... after not so thrilling opening.

Daryl aims his crossbow at a squirrel and misses. The impossible happens - he breaks an arrow. One  arrow down, infinity arrows to go.

Blondie makes a campire. Darly hunts for food - it's snake for breakfast!

These guys don't talk very much. Blondie states that she needs a "real drink." She's never had one because of her Dad but "he's not exactly around anymore" so she thought they could find some. What wine goes best with snake?

Blondie leaves by herself. Daryl apparently doesn't give a shit and continues feasting on snake, which makes sense to me.

Walkers approach as Blondie hides behind a tree. She deflects them fairly easily but even if she hadn't, Daryl had her back, appearing with his crossbow.

Blondie gives Daryl the finger, exclaiming that she wants more than silence and mud-snake. She's really feinding for a drink. Daryl looks thoughtful.

One quarter of the episode is done. Did I mention AMC has way too many effing commercial breaks during one episode?

Blondie walks into an open field - bright idea. Daryl follows. They find a country club - convenient. Walkers are on their trail. They enter the building, with not a care that they're trapping themselves in a building with walkers inside and out.

Walkers are hanging from the ceiling - talk about botched suicide attempt. Blondie pilfers a spoon, as Daryl bags money - maybe they could use it as toilet paper?

Daryl and Blondie barricade themselves into the kitchen. Blondie climbs a rickety shelf to grab a bottle of wine without checking for walkers. Are these people that stupid?

Sure enough, she is attacked from behind by a walker. She breaks the bottle of wine offing the walker. Daryl just watches. Blondie thanks him for the help sarcastically. Darly responds that she said she could take care of herself. Not cool Daryl.

I guess the writers are on vacation because this episode has been almost entirely absent of dialogue.

B & D stumble upon the body of a "rich bitch" - shout out to Hall & Oates. Blondie wants to take the body down insisting that this matters. WHY? WHY DOES IT MATTER?

B & D are further cornered in the club as walkers enter. Blondie watches doing nothing as Daryl fights off multiple walkers. Daryl repeatedly "clubs" (with a golf club, ba da bum!) a walker in the arm instead of the head, prolonging things needlessly.

Blondie acknowledges that her plan was stupid but that she needs "to do this," grabbing a bottle of peach schnapps from behind the bar. She defends herself stating it was the only thing left. Blondie wipes down a nasty cup, when she could just swig from the bottle.

Blondie inexplicably breaks down in front of the bottle as Daryl plays darts. Daryl breaks the bottle insisting her first drink "aint going to be no peach schnapps." I'm really confused. Did some sort of advertising deal fall through that provoked a half episode statement by AMC? You'll eat snake but eff that peach schnapps! 

B & D have some worthless conversation walking back through the woods, sparing us the mystery of how they escaped the country club. They stumble upon a moonshine distillery. That's not random.

Blondie momentarily worries about going blind but has her first "real drink." Daryl is not concerned about the risk of walkers emerging or of Blondie not holding her liquor well or of these events happening simultaneously. 

Blondie finds a plastic container in the shape of a pink bra. Daryl reminisces about plastic pink bra containers and his dad's shed, firmly establishing that he is a real hillbilly.

Daryl sees a walker approaching the flimsy shed window. Blondie offers Daryl some moonshine, which he partakes of, ignoring the walker still outside the window. We've seen walkers bust down fences but apparently this walker is willing to patiently wait.

Blondie wants Daryl to play drinking games. Is she trying to seduce Daryl? Blondie states that she learned this game from watching her parents?! They suck at this game and it is dreadfully boring. 

Daryl leaves to take a piss against the wall. He got drunk instantly. Whoah, he is a nasty drunk and tells off Blondie - hahaha this is awesome. I guess the writers are back.

Drunk Daryl manhandles Blondie insisting that she learn to shoot a crossbow. Blondie knifes the target practice, preaching that killing walkers isn't supposed to be fun. Blondie calls bullshit on Daryl's tough front. Daryl calls Blondie a dumb college bitch. Finally this episode is getting somewhere.

Daryl gets emotional and starts crying about not being able to stop the Governor and about Hershel's death. Blondie hugs the strong yet sensitive Daryl - I knew she was trying to get in his pants!

Back from the commercial break, B & D are having a heart-to-heart. Daryl gives some back story, about the time he was watching tv at a tweaker's house with his brother, Merle. There was apparently a mexican standoff that broke out over what to watch on tv, which Daryl survived by puking. Daryl didn't have "nobody or nothing" and claims he was a redneck asshole before the zombie outbreak - this is not a big reveal but pretty much what anyone would have assumed.

Blondie talks about who she misses, including her big brother Shawn, whom I don't even remember. Blondie actually thought Maggie and Glenn would have a baby, and Hershel would be a grandpa and there would be birthdays and picnics, at some point probably after she tried to kill herself. She acknowledges this was unbelievably stupid.

B & D are just going on and on, and maybe things were better in this episode when they weren't talking.

Blondie states the obvious, that Daryl will be the last man standing and that he will miss her so bad when she is gone. When, when will this happen!?? Please let it happen!? Blondie tells Daryl that he must go on, seemingly giving him the speech that Jack gave Rose after the Titanic went down before he froze to death.

Blondie thinks they should burn their shelter down?? They waste the rest of the moonshine executing this cacamamie plan to some weird country music about absent mothers. 

After starting a forest fire, they throw up their middle fingers at the fire that spreads wildly and walk away. FINE -as in the end, cause this episode was far from fine. It was truly awful. Is the episode titled "Still" for this shit "Still" effing sucks?

In other news, before this non-episode of Walking Dead, I happened to catch Ellen's opening monologue during the Oscars, and she nailed it. Ellen's opening monologue covered more ground than this entire season of Walking Dead, just substitute the Hollywood A-list for the undead. I tuned back in time to see Lupita Nyong'o winning an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress. This took the edge off of wasting the past hour. Lupita's speech was moving enough to revive zombies but probably not the writers of Walking Dead.