Cut to, they are still hiding. They exit the trunk... Daryl gathers supplies from the car. They look at each other wordlessly. Daryl walks away from car. Blondie follows Daryl. Cue thrilling opening song ... after not so thrilling opening.
Daryl aims his crossbow at a squirrel and misses. The impossible happens - he breaks an arrow. One arrow down, infinity arrows to go.
Blondie makes a campire. Darly hunts for food - it's snake for breakfast!
These guys don't talk very much. Blondie states that she needs a "real drink." She's never had one because of her Dad but "he's not exactly around anymore" so she thought they could find some. What wine goes best with snake?
Blondie leaves by herself. Daryl apparently doesn't give a shit and continues feasting on snake, which makes sense to me.
Walkers approach as Blondie hides behind a tree. She deflects them fairly easily but even if she hadn't, Daryl had her back, appearing with his crossbow.
Blondie gives Daryl the finger, exclaiming that she wants more than silence and mud-snake. She's really feinding for a drink. Daryl looks thoughtful.
One quarter of the episode is done. Did I mention AMC has way too many effing commercial breaks during one episode?
Blondie walks into an open field - bright idea. Daryl follows. They find a country club - convenient. Walkers are on their trail. They enter the building, with not a care that they're trapping themselves in a building with walkers inside and out.
Walkers are hanging from the ceiling - talk about botched suicide attempt. Blondie pilfers a spoon, as Daryl bags money - maybe they could use it as toilet paper?
Daryl and Blondie barricade themselves into the kitchen. Blondie climbs a rickety shelf to grab a bottle of wine without checking for walkers. Are these people that stupid?
Sure enough, she is attacked from behind by a walker. She breaks the bottle of wine offing the walker. Daryl just watches. Blondie thanks him for the help sarcastically. Darly responds that she said she could take care of herself. Not cool Daryl.
I guess the writers are on vacation because this episode has been almost entirely absent of dialogue.
B & D stumble upon the body of a "rich bitch" - shout out to Hall & Oates. Blondie wants to take the body down insisting that this matters. WHY? WHY DOES IT MATTER?
B & D are further cornered in the club as walkers enter. Blondie watches doing nothing as Daryl fights off multiple walkers. Daryl repeatedly "clubs" (with a golf club, ba da bum!) a walker in the arm instead of the head, prolonging things needlessly.
Blondie acknowledges that her plan was stupid but that she needs "to do this," grabbing a bottle of peach schnapps from behind the bar. She defends herself stating it was the only thing left. Blondie wipes down a nasty cup, when she could just swig from the bottle.
Blondie inexplicably breaks down in front of the bottle as Daryl plays darts. Daryl breaks the bottle insisting her first drink "aint going to be no peach schnapps." I'm really confused. Did some sort of advertising deal fall through that provoked a half episode statement by AMC? You'll eat snake but eff that peach schnapps!
B & D have some worthless conversation walking back through the woods, sparing us the mystery of how they escaped the country club. They stumble upon a moonshine distillery. That's not random.
Blondie momentarily worries about going blind but has her first "real drink." Daryl is not concerned about the risk of walkers emerging or of Blondie not holding her liquor well or of these events happening simultaneously.
Blondie finds a plastic container in the shape of a pink bra. Daryl reminisces about plastic pink bra containers and his dad's shed, firmly establishing that he is a real hillbilly.
Daryl sees a walker approaching the flimsy shed window. Blondie offers Daryl some moonshine, which he partakes of, ignoring the walker still outside the window. We've seen walkers bust down fences but apparently this walker is willing to patiently wait.
Blondie wants Daryl to play drinking games. Is she trying to seduce Daryl? Blondie states that she learned this game from watching her parents?! They suck at this game and it is dreadfully boring.
Daryl leaves to take a piss against the wall. He got drunk instantly. Whoah, he is a nasty drunk and tells off Blondie - hahaha this is awesome. I guess the writers are back.
Drunk Daryl manhandles Blondie insisting that she learn to shoot a crossbow. Blondie knifes the target practice, preaching that killing walkers isn't supposed to be fun. Blondie calls bullshit on Daryl's tough front. Daryl calls Blondie a dumb college bitch. Finally this episode is getting somewhere.
Daryl gets emotional and starts crying about not being able to stop the Governor and about Hershel's death. Blondie hugs the strong yet sensitive Daryl - I knew she was trying to get in his pants!
Back from the commercial break, B & D are having a heart-to-heart. Daryl gives some back story, about the time he was watching tv at a tweaker's house with his brother, Merle. There was apparently a mexican standoff that broke out over what to watch on tv, which Daryl survived by puking. Daryl didn't have "nobody or nothing" and claims he was a redneck asshole before the zombie outbreak - this is not a big reveal but pretty much what anyone would have assumed.
Blondie talks about who she misses, including her big brother Shawn, whom I don't even remember. Blondie actually thought Maggie and Glenn would have a baby, and Hershel would be a grandpa and there would be birthdays and picnics, at some point probably after she tried to kill herself. She acknowledges this was unbelievably stupid.
B & D are just going on and on, and maybe things were better in this episode when they weren't talking.
Blondie states the obvious, that Daryl will be the last man standing and that he will miss her so bad when she is gone. When, when will this happen!?? Please let it happen!? Blondie tells Daryl that he must go on, seemingly giving him the speech that Jack gave Rose after the Titanic went down before he froze to death.
Blondie thinks they should burn their shelter down?? They waste the rest of the moonshine executing this cacamamie plan to some weird country music about absent mothers.
After starting a forest fire, they throw up their middle fingers at the fire that spreads wildly and walk away. FINE -as in the end, cause this episode was far from fine. It was truly awful. Is the episode titled "Still" for this shit "Still" effing sucks?
In other news, before this non-episode of Walking Dead, I happened to catch Ellen's opening monologue during the Oscars, and she nailed it. Ellen's opening monologue covered more ground than this entire season of Walking Dead, just substitute the Hollywood A-list for the undead. I tuned back in time to see Lupita Nyong'o winning an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress. This took the edge off of wasting the past hour. Lupita's speech was moving enough to revive zombies but probably not the writers of Walking Dead.
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