Wow, Seth Rogen is guest-starring as Sgt. Abe Ford. I knew there was life in action after Green Hornet for this man!
What's so funny about Michonne's shirt Carl? I don't get it?
Are they really having a conversation about soy milk? The writers saw no other way to awkwardly transition into Judith's absence?
Michonne: What's the plan Rick? - The question of the hour (five hours ago).
Does it really make sense to split up Rick & company at this point, after already experiencing how easy it is to get lost and separated? Rick sticks behind in the house for "rest." Rest is for the brainless dead (also known as the current Walking Dead show runner).
Michonne and Carl go to gather supplies and make more strained small-talk, this time about "crazy cheese." Carl states that he is just tired, which explains why this conversation is so underwhelming, I guess.
Oh wow, Michonne is now impersonating a walker with crazy cheese in her mouth. What the eff is happening right now? Who calls Cheese Whiz crazy cheese?
Crazy cheese transitions into Michonne stating that she had a three year old son. Are these segues forced or is it just me?
Now they're playing the clear the room-20 questions but one question at a time per room game. This should cover us into about season 7. It's a quarter in to the episode and absolutely nothing has happened.
Cut back to Rick, whose rest is disturbed by the voices of strangers. Rick hides under the bed as a stranger enters. I think I saw this exact scene in Taken except Rick is not on the phone with Liam Neeson.
There is a close up on a painting of bunnies on the wall in the room Michonne and Carl are clearing. Michonne says that her son's name was Andre Anthony.
Michonne is staring off into space at other random paintings on the wall, such as a sunflower, as Carl does all of the heavy lifting.
M adds about her son - "It happened after... after everything happened." - These lines are as artful as the bunnies and the sunflower.
If your back story is "not really a secret" than why have Carl drag it out of you M?
M picks up a jacked up painting of a girl... this raises her alarm and cues suspenseful music.
M stealthily walks in to the bathroom... then a kid's room and sighs. End suspenseful music and cue thoughtful music, as she peruses the room.
M enters an adjacent all pink room - suspenseful music returns. Bodies abound. The all pink is creepier.
Carl surprises M, who lies about a dead dog being in the room instead of a dead family.
Carl states that maybe baby Judith and Andre are together somewhere. M ushers Carl out of the room stating that it's almost noon - and half way through another horrendously dull episode.
Rick is still hiding under the bed. He listens to a fight by the strangers over the bed. Random stranger is murdered right in front of Rick's face. Guy on bed is a bad man who murders comrade over a bed.
Glenn was passed out all this time (much like I was), and is now awakening on Sgt. Abe's truck with Tara. Glenn finds out that it's been three hours since the truck passed by the zombie cheese bus. Glenn freaks out and stops the truck.
Sgt. Abe wants Glenn really bad and is willing to manhandle him to prove it. Sgt. Abe intros his company, including Rosita Espinosa (executing a trying too hard to look tough but also sexy pose) and scientist Eugene. They are on route to Washington D.C. because Eugene has the answer to resolving the zombie outbreak but he says he can't be more specific cause it's classified. How is anything classified anymore?
No one's picking up the phone anymore in DC but they still think it's a good idea to go there.
Glenn insists on leaving to find Maggie. He punches Sgt. Abe which seems like a bad idea to me. I'm distracted by Eugene's mullet. Sgt. and Glenn are too busy rolling around to notice walkers joining the party.
Sgt. Abe is a good shot and has unlimited ammo, eliminating the intruding walkers. However, Eugene has accidentally shot up the gas tank of the truck and so they are now stranded.
Rick is still hiding under the bed but now slowly sliding out. Rick continues to hide in the hallway. The strangers sound like rapists. This scene is actually good. Rick stumbles into the bathroom and surprises a guy on the toilet. Rick chokes him out and gets his gun.
Cut to commercial break - Mindy Kaling will be a guest on Talking Dead. It's cool that Mindy Kaling watches the Walking Dead. 8 minutes left to the show.
Rick sneaks out a window and climbs down the roof. He sneaks off around the house and hides some more.
Sgt. Abe is trying to fix the truck as Army Barbie Rosie poses some more and sighs heavily. Rosie gratuitously bends down to pick up Glenn's photo of Maggie which the production assistant removed from his pocket and placed on the ground.
Sgt. Abe and co. join Glenn as he departs.
Rick is still hiding. A stranger is spitting and whistling on the porch. Rick sees Carl & M returning and is almost forced to make a move but is able to breakaway with Carl & M when the strangers are distracted by discovering the bodies in the house.
Tara concludes Sgt. Abe is a good person and we know what a great judge of character she is. This time I want to believe it too though because I heart redheads.
Rick & co. see the sign for "sanctuary" and follow the train tracks. I think they'd all be more skeptical by now but this is not addressed whatsoever.
First half = awful. Last quarter = better, but none of the action we witness has anything to do with the long-term arc of the season - perhaps because there is none.
I realize this episode was Daryl-less. "Son of dick!" Maybe, that's okay because this meant an absence of his current companion, the always momentum-stalling Blondie.
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