My Downfall

Despite completing 16 exercise sessions by the end of this fifth week since my fitness reboot, TCBY Golden Vanilla Frozen Yogurt, chock full of ridiculous toppings (such as heath, toasted coconut, mixed nuts, extra extra crunchies and hot fudge), is proving to be my downfall. I succumbed to this diabetes-provoking concoction twice this week.

I'll take a picture next time before (and also, by then, after) it hits my gut.

Get Physical

I finally made it to the doctor's office for an annual checkup, four years late. Here are some inspiring (and foreboding) messages that were posted on the walls:

Well damn. 

I'll get my results in about two weeks. In the meantime, I made sure to fit in exercise sessions 12&13 this week after four days of slacking. 

I Saw ... (after I Ate)

Boy George performing a Lorde song at the Billboard Music Awards. 

Following which Miranda Lambert & Carrie Underwood sang "Something Bad About To Happen" but their outfits, hair and makeup had already happened, as well as the creepy holographic Michael Jackson performance of a song he didn't consider worthwhile to release in his own lifetime. 

p.s. Exercise sessions 10&11 happened earlier this weekend (but not 12 this Sunday). Good thing, cause what I ate included:

BBQ Chicken Nachos

Bandeja Paisa (Colombian Platter)

grilled skirt steak, pork chicharron, white arepa,

rice & beans, fried egg, maduros, avocado, cabbage salad

Pernil (slow roasted pulled pork, marinated in Colombian beer, orange garlic mojo)

Fried seafood appetizer

Fish Tacos

Missing dessert pictures of the churros, tres leche cake, molten chocolate cake and banana caramel bread pudding, all served by the lovely Joanna at the Yelper favorite Bogota Latin Bistro.

Demand More, Fat Girls!

This scene from Louis C.K.'s sitcom, Louie, is being celebrated all over the internet:


A Jezebel article called it " absolutely magnificent" summing it all up as "Vanessa, who knows she's fat and is okay with it, isn't having it and proceeds to deliver one of the best dressing downs ever seen on television."

Was the author watching the same scene while doped up? First of all, Vanessa clearly is NOT okay with being fat, and in fact states "I'm fat. It sucks to be a fat girl. Can people just let me say it? It sucks. It really sucks."  

Second, as far as delivering one of the best dressing downs ever seen on tv, while the character of Vanessa indeed serves up an unfiltered reprimanding, it was more pathetic than empowering or charming. She basically proceeds to beg to have her hand held until her subject relents. Did Louie have any other option that would salvage his humanity? 

The exchange above, filled with awkward pauses, strained filming, and the actress's amateurish delivery, was completely unrealistic as far as its effectiveness in the real world outside of scripted television. A relationship has no (good) future that stems from forcing a person into acting upon feelings he/she doesn't have, and any person who would settle for as much probably isn't worth dating anyway. Vanessa has no qualms about employing the "guilt-trip" with little regard for the feelings of the object of her affection simply to get what she wants, conveying an immaturity and selfishness that are way bigger red flags for date-ability than her waistline. It would have been far more empowering if the character, following her rant, had not settled for pity-intimacy but instead made Louie work for it.

Have fat women and their supporters really set the bar this low?

Somebody get Vanessa a copy of "He's Just Not That Into You" stat. Her weight is the least of her problems, and probably representative of overeating to fill the gaping hole of her missing self-esteem.
 

@louisck Nice try Louie but I don't effing think so. http://t.co/ieaeWd6n0B
— What The Eff? (@effwalkingdead) May 15, 2014

p.s. I really need to upload a Twitter picture.

Update - BFF alerted me to this concurring article!

Kristen Merlin Exits The Voice

Tonight, the seemingly inevitable finally came to pass and Kristen Merlin was disappointingly eliminated from The Voice. She had a great run despite The Voice's best efforts to do her dirty. I hope to see her make it even bigger in the future.

@KristenMerlin You're the only reason I kept watching. Goodbye #NBCTheVoice
— What The Eff? (@effwalkingdead) May 14, 2014

Both Jake Worthington and Christina Grimmie survived eliminations to join Josh Kaufman in the final three. Shows what I know.

Here's an interesting article discussing whether The Voice's Instant Save gimmick hurt Kristen Merlin's chances of making it to the Top 3.

I did not exercise today because I felt under the weather (not that I need any excuses not to exercise). 

I enjoyed a delicious dinner prepared by my lovely Mummy. Baked salmon steak, mashed plantains and beans, plain yogurt and spicy Indian pickle... all up in my face. YUM.

Exercise Day 9 & DAP Movie #7: Madagascar 3 - Europe's Most Wanted

Done & Done.

This is part of my ongoing series of DAP posts.

Dreamworks Animation Movie #7
Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted
2012
Rating: PG
Budget: 145 million
Box Office: 746 million plus (even more than the sequel!)

IMDb Logline: "Alex, Marty, Gloria and Melman are still fighting to get home to their beloved Big Apple. Their journey takes them through Europe where they find the perfect cover: a traveling circus, which they reinvent - Madagascar style."

Lazy Review: Madagascar 3 was cute but 2 remains my favorite. 3 was less grounded as far as storyline which actually fit its circus theme. Running away with the circus also lent itself to really cool animated scenes. 

After the movie: I missed most of The Voice and am now in progress watching Christina Grimmie's major misstep singing Fun's "Some Nights." Too bad. 

Not exactly 10 minutes later: I'm not really loving Jake Worthington's rendition of Bryan Adam's "Heaven" either. Usher gave some helpful background on vocal issues that Jake has been suffering. This helps me to better appreciate, not hate. 

Exercise Day 8 & Grasshopper Class

And Gym Day 5. I ate a lot today. Happy Mother's Day!

I don't follow Oprah's Master Class on the OWN network but occasionally I catch shitty bits and pieces. There's something awfully pretentious about the enterprise, from the title, to the unnecessary and unflattering extreme close-ups - especially for Jay-Z:

It strikes me as not that removed from Brad Pitt's Chanel No. 5 commercials.


Now compare to this:

 
Could this be any more fake? Has Justin been practicing delivering bad acting monologues? Does affecting a subdued tone convey mastery? How phony is this "confession" preceded by pause for a beat, sideways glance, cue: "I've never told anybody that Michael story." 

Why not? Why is this such a secret? Did Michael touch you in a private place when he made his recording request? You didn't tell your manager? a friend? your mom?? not one person that Michael Jackson was interested in recording a duet with you? You are such a liar I can't stand you!!!!

There's also this piece of dookie he overdramatically offers in another clip: "I was going to make a career doing exactly what everyone told me I should not be doing."

JT's spiced vanilla is far from renegade. The Star Search to Mickey Mouse Club (including Brit, Christina, JLoveHewitt, Ryan Gosling) to Boy Band to Solo Career under the guidance of record company giants and big money management is not exactly trailblazing albeit wildly successful in JFake's case. Sure, he's achieved an accomplished career, celebrity and wealth, but does this all, at the ripe old age of 33, a Master make?

Instead of Master Class, just call it Oprah's Self-Serving Monotonous Celebrity Profiles.