Wait...

My left or her left?



I'm not sure there hasn't been some sort of mix-up...

Masterful Tim McGraw

I wasn't really familiar with Tim McGraw (and I don't think I knew a single song of his) but I happened to catch Oprah's Master Class on the OWN Network featuring him. What a contrast to the episodes I've encountered previously! 

Tim McGraw came off likable, charismatic, sincere and interesting... helping me to realize the value of the show when it's done right. Listening to his story was inspiring and conveyed the benefits of perseverance, hope and humility. It doesn't hurt that he's also talented and good looking. Well done Tim McGraw, country superstar!

Ed Sheeran Sing (Video) - Puppet Trickery

I guess I can be critical even as I am simultaneously amused.

Check out the video for "Sing" by the super talented Ed Sheeran:



It's pretty clever to feature a really cool puppet masterfully manhandled throughout the video, rendering the debauchery more innocent, humorous and seemingly less exploitative of women - but not of Asians.

The "drunken" dancing Asian males flailing all over the place in the karaoke bar seem to be more objectified than even Ed Sheeran's puppet form. Then again, if you really think about it, having a puppet stand in for Ed, that's better looking than Ed himself, is a cop-out in itself.

Oh well, Ed doesn't seem to mind and neither do the dancing Asians. Should/Shouldn't they?

My Hero - John Oliver & Net Neutrality

This is a beauty:

Whoops. It seems that you've all crashed part of the FCC website. I hope you're proud of yourselves. http://t.co/pBve6cNxRD
— John Oliver (@iamjohnoliver) June 3, 2014

I Saw ... (after I Ate)

Boy George performing a Lorde song at the Billboard Music Awards. 

Following which Miranda Lambert & Carrie Underwood sang "Something Bad About To Happen" but their outfits, hair and makeup had already happened, as well as the creepy holographic Michael Jackson performance of a song he didn't consider worthwhile to release in his own lifetime. 

p.s. Exercise sessions 10&11 happened earlier this weekend (but not 12 this Sunday). Good thing, cause what I ate included:

BBQ Chicken Nachos

Bandeja Paisa (Colombian Platter)

grilled skirt steak, pork chicharron, white arepa,

rice & beans, fried egg, maduros, avocado, cabbage salad

Pernil (slow roasted pulled pork, marinated in Colombian beer, orange garlic mojo)

Fried seafood appetizer

Fish Tacos

Missing dessert pictures of the churros, tres leche cake, molten chocolate cake and banana caramel bread pudding, all served by the lovely Joanna at the Yelper favorite Bogota Latin Bistro.

Exercise Day 8 & Grasshopper Class

And Gym Day 5. I ate a lot today. Happy Mother's Day!

I don't follow Oprah's Master Class on the OWN network but occasionally I catch shitty bits and pieces. There's something awfully pretentious about the enterprise, from the title, to the unnecessary and unflattering extreme close-ups - especially for Jay-Z:

It strikes me as not that removed from Brad Pitt's Chanel No. 5 commercials.


Now compare to this:

 
Could this be any more fake? Has Justin been practicing delivering bad acting monologues? Does affecting a subdued tone convey mastery? How phony is this "confession" preceded by pause for a beat, sideways glance, cue: "I've never told anybody that Michael story." 

Why not? Why is this such a secret? Did Michael touch you in a private place when he made his recording request? You didn't tell your manager? a friend? your mom?? not one person that Michael Jackson was interested in recording a duet with you? You are such a liar I can't stand you!!!!

There's also this piece of dookie he overdramatically offers in another clip: "I was going to make a career doing exactly what everyone told me I should not be doing."

JT's spiced vanilla is far from renegade. The Star Search to Mickey Mouse Club (including Brit, Christina, JLoveHewitt, Ryan Gosling) to Boy Band to Solo Career under the guidance of record company giants and big money management is not exactly trailblazing albeit wildly successful in JFake's case. Sure, he's achieved an accomplished career, celebrity and wealth, but does this all, at the ripe old age of 33, a Master make?

Instead of Master Class, just call it Oprah's Self-Serving Monotonous Celebrity Profiles.

PlaySCOOP Event 6

PokerStars play money tournament + rebuys + turbo + add-on = donkfest! Also known as the perfect equation for the complete opposite of a premiere tournament.

Fail for good poker. Genius for Pokerstars play money sales.

In the 5K Low buy-in game of Event 6, I placed 61/696 for a prize of 43,900. This was all thanks to luck, which ran out when I moved 8-6 short-stacked and desperate into pocket Aces. My prize was chump change compared to the cost of the 500K buy-in and two-time double-re-buy into the High Game of Event 6 for a grand total of 2.5M. Even though the structure of the tournament was worthless against such a high-buy in, I fell victim to my temptation to place in this one also. So far, I have placed in 4 of 6 PlaySCOOP tournaments I have played.

@PokerStars Why no tweets about PlaySCOOP? Also rebuy+play money+turbo effing sucks you evil geniuses. http://t.co/aY3ljE9Vbr
— What The Eff? (@effwalkingdead) May 6, 2014

In other non-news, Adam Levine looks terrible as a blonde. 

Speaking of blondies, in lieu of exercising, I consumed multiple servings of this "sweet cream ice cream with blonde brownies & a salted caramel core."

Direct Line to Ellen DeGeneres?

Still fired up by The Voice's unfair treatment of Kristen Merlin, now a top 10 finalist (no thanks to The Voice), I tweeted this politically incorrect message to Ellen earlier this week:

@TheEllenShow Hey Ellen, defend your peeps! http://t.co/GZsqduej1o #nbcthevoice #KristenMerlin #TheVoiceTop12
— What The Eff? (@effwalkingdead) April 22, 2014

Not unlike this blog, I have zero* human followers on Twitter by the way. Well, check out footage from today's episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show!


Whatever you want to call it (coincidence, influence, crass, megalomania, psychic), this is effing cool!

*UPDATE - I just noted that I do have one real live Twitter follower! Thank you @jillsomers! 

@effwalkingdead @TheEllenShow #merlinnation are her "peeps"! We got this! Join us! @KristenMerlin
— Jill Somers (@JillSomers) April 22, 2014

This Is Your Brain On Drugs

The Question (featuring the ex-best friend and defendant):



The Sobering Answer


Further Proof:

mr Mayer needs to park that milk toast girlie drivel he calls muzak & leave the Patek/Rolex prowess to the best watch expert alive c
— Charlie Sheen (@charliesheen) March 20, 2014

 
Any Questions?

Water for Effing Diamonds?

"800 million people don't have access to clean drinking water. That’s 1 in 9 of us."

See more at: 
http://www.charitywater.org/

This charity pledges 100% of donations to the field to fund clean water projects. They suggest pledging your next birthday to raise funds:
http://www.charitywater.org/birthdays/

$770

average amount raised by a person’s birthday campaign.

38 people

get clean water as a result of an average birthday campaign.

Gabrielle Union's 8.5 carat engagement ring was reportedly valued at nearly $1 million. According to these stats, that's enough water for over 49,000 people. 

How many women would support engagement projects? 

Don't get me wrong - I effing love Gabrielle Union. But this shit is really sad: The Last Walk for Water

Eff Justin Timberlake

... for so many reasons.

Timberfake tweeted this message after postponing his NY concert tonight:

I am truly sorry to everyone that have tickets for tonight. It kills me to have to do this. I hope to see you all on Friday. --JT
— Justin Timberlake (@jtimberlake) February 19, 2014

If it killed you, then who the eff is performing on Friday?