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Ads for Amazon Fire HD Tablets

I find these ads for Amazon Fire HD Tablets to be interesting. The point of these ads is to demonstrate the durability of the tablet - but I find myself distracted by the actions of the users and more mindful of the disastrous scenarios averted that have little to do with damage to an electronic device.

For example, in this first commercial, I'm more relieved that this distracted woman didn't hit the kid on the skateboard than her tablet being okay:


In this next ad, this guy is lucky he didn't fall down the stairs or that his tablet didn't maim his poor dog at the bottom:



If these ad execs intended for me to be relieved that the tablet was not damaged, they should not have featured scenarios involving competing higher stakes. Instead of impressing upon me the durability of the Amazon tablet, I find myself thinking that these people are better off without the tablets in the first place, realizing the havoc they could wreak on themselves and those around them who are far more fragile. 

I noted this phenomenon in the first commercial and was surprised to see this issue repeated in the second, which inspired this blog post. It's odd to me that these tech users would be featured as not only irresponsible, but also more concerned about the damage to their devices and thereby inconsiderate and oblivious to the more meaningful dangers they narrowly missed. There are far better ways to sell the product while still conveying the message of its durability. 

What do Tic Tacs have to do with commuting?

As far as I know, nothing. This commercial didn't help enlighten me. Popping Tic Tac mints would possibly alleviate bad breath, but not a long work commute. I don't get commercials like these that attempt to make connections that make no sense to be made in order to sell the product. Are people seriously going to buy Tic Tacs because they think of how it will make their morning commutes more bearable? Was someone actually paid to come up with this concept? That's even more perplexing. 

Nice Try Doritos

Doritos announced the ten finalists in the 2015 Crash the Super Bowl contest. My least favorite is "What Could Go Wrong," as elaborated here.

Interestingly enough, the version of this commercial that made the finals is different from the original entry. This version adds the female speaking off-roof to assure viewers that she did not actually plummet to her death.

I still think this commercial stinks. 

One of my faves, Dog Dreams, did not make the top ten - and so I officially have no idea what the Doritos judges are looking for.

Hating on/Review of the Doritos Crash the Super Bowl Semifinalists

*Pic courtesy of some Random Blog - no, literally.

3 of the 11 commercials I featured in my review of Doritos Crash the Super Bowl contest entries are among the 29 semifinalists:

Dog Dreams
Lemonade Stand
and the commercial I noted in my "Updates" after originally posting: Doritos Angler

Despite my weak prediction track record, below are my picks for the 10 finalists. You can see how subjective this whole process is by reading another review of the semifinalists here on the Video Contest News website.

In no particular order after the first half:
Dog Dreams - however, the VCN reviewer points out that the driver's lack of a seat-belt could be an issue because federal regulations prohibit advertisers from depicting unsafe driving. Can they just "video-shop" that in?
Do the federal ad regulations relating to driving apply to dreams about driving?

Doritos Angler - I think this commercial is ridiculously absurd and funny! 

Lemonade Stand

When Pigs Fly - which I reviewed in the comments to my earlier Doritos post.

Tea Time

Mis-Spelling Bee

Wish Upon a Dorito

Actually, I am finding it painful to come up with 10.


Here are my thoughts on the others:

Middle Seat is a well-produced commercial - also requesting a review in the comments of my earlier post. However, I just can't get past the crude dig against sufferers of Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). I don't find it funny at all and I don't think it's acceptable for a nationally airing commercial to be so insensitive with respect to a medical condition. 
In fact, it seems this entry breaches the Doritos contest official rules:
"it must not contain... messages (including but not limited to words, images or symbols that are widely considered offensive to individuals of a certain race, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, or socioeconomic, or other group..."

Gone Ape - How could these guys have missed the obvious punchline of the ape shoving the triangle into the mouth of the doctor who slapped her hand? 

Baby's First Word - This is a well-made commercial but it's far too predictable. Who didn't know where this one was going the moment it started?


These are the semifinalists that completely left me head-scratching:


What Could Go Wrong? - In my opinion, this is the worst of all of the 29 semifinalists! Besides the low production quality, I am really perturbed by Doritos finding anything funny about a woman being hurled off a roof-top. Especially in light of the recent incidents of violence against women by NFL players, why would Doritos or the Superbowl want to be associated with a commercial making light of even the accidental harm to/death of a woman. It's just not funny. 
In addition, does this not violate this official Doritos rule? "must not portray neck and/or head injuries or symptoms thereof, including, without limitation, concussion or memory loss." 
I guess events leading to these prohibited injuries and/or fatalities are okay and even comical to the Doritos judges?

Trouble in the Back Seat - low production quality and completely unoriginal idea. How many Doritos commercials are out there involving a police officer making a traffic stop?

I Did That - same comments as those for "Trouble in the Back Seat" but just swap out police officer making a traffic stop with man dressed up as a Doritos chip guilty of nacho hand-stains on a woman's butt.

Pink Slip - good Doritos eating actor but how would a commercial with such low production quality ever air on prime-time television, let alone during the Super Bowl? Come on.

Other semifinalists I straight up hated: Blind Date, Doritos Manchild and Cheesy Teasy. 

The remaining semifinalists I didn't mention didn't really inspire a strong reaction either way. My brother got a kick out of "Tiny Mouth," which was ranked #2 by the VCN reviewer but I don't really get it? Which means it will probably win.

Despite posting like a hater, good luck to the semifinalists!

Ad Critique - Overstock.com Diamond Ring

This is another commercial that I have been meaning to critique.



Why must women constantly be portrayed in such a vapid way? More bothersome than her juvenile, hysterical reaction to being gifted an engagement ring, is the sudden change in the engaged female's demeanor to that of nagging selfishness. Why should she make an issue of her fiance, who so generously gifted her a diamond ring, using the savings towards a gift for himself? It's so unlikeable of her to bring up the first month's rent when it comes to his watch but not to her more expensive diamond ring. Then, for the final nail in her character, she accepts his purchase upon demanding that her lover never be late... like, ever.

What is the intention of ad execs when they feature such characters? The male is portrayed as generous and fiscally smart, and the woman is portrayed as hot, giddy, uptight and controlling. What is the attraction for consumers? Shop at Overstock.com and pacify the naggy bitches in your life that you want to continue to bone?

The couple in this commercial are clearly getting divorced.

Doritos Crash the Super Bowl Contest Semifinalists (My Picks)

Although Doritos initially expected to announce up to 30 semifinalists by Monday, November 17, this has been delayed as they are still reviewing submissions. 

In the meantime, here are entries that stood out to me:

50 Shades of Nacho Cheese: This commercial is a take on "Fifty Shades of Grey" which is a clever strategy considering Universal has teamed up with Doritos for the contest and Universal will be releasing the "Fifty Shades of Grey" movie in February 2015, soon after the Super Bowl.
This commercial will especially resonate with the legions of global fans obsessed with Fifty Shades and therefore has cross-promotional appeal. If this commercial goes viral/is aired during the Super Bowl, it would introduce Fifty Shades to a broader audience than simply the readers of the book - I envision male Super Bowl viewers who would otherwise be amused by this commercial, are explained the inside joke by the Fifty Shades fans in their lives, i.e. wives/girlfriends/boyfriends? and are then coaxed into accompanying said Fifty fans to the movie - ahhh, see how Doritos brings lovers/freaks together.




Dog Dreams - This one featured awesome special effects, a Doritos truck and the perfect dog for the concept! How did they do that!? I'm curious how much this commercial cost to make. Not sure why the house is decorated like it's from the 70's though?



Craveman - Although my initial instinct would be that cavemen have already been overdone (Geico), this commercial was really well made. Check out the Nacho Cheese impression of Michaelangelo's "The Creation of Adam." Again, how much did this one cost to make!?



Dorito King - This one is my brother's favorite. It is successful because of the talented actors, particularly Marcus Johns who I think is a real comedic standout. I expect to see him make it big and he already has a substantial Vine following.



A Dorito A Day Keeps the Doc Away - This one is my brother-in-law's favorite. It's a well-made commercial with cool effects. It's also being well-promoted because it stars a pro-wrestler.



The Last Bag - This really well-executed commercial packs in a lot of action in just 30 seconds and I now realize firsthand how challenging that is to pull-off. The throwback to multiple Universal movies was really clever too (especially to my fave). However, this entry uses original music - which sounds great but is illegal according to the official contest rules. It doesn't seem fair that this commercial would move forward for that reason to me since all rule-abiding entries were limited to only the music provided by Doritos.



Girls Only Party - Once again, it's the talented cast that really makes this commercial a stand-out for me. The girly men are hysterical. I love the scene with the hand-slap followed by girly laughter.



The Lemonade Stand - This is a really well-made commercial. However, as nicely as this idea is executed, there's something awfully saccharinely manipulative about the whole thing. I think I got diabetes just from watching this. I'd like Doritos to ultimately go for something edgier as their winner.



Old Enough (Version 2) - There's something simultaneously creepy and captivating about this odd little commercial. Again, great casting enhances the production and I like the diversity of the cast which is lacking in previous contest finalists. However, I don't get why the little girl would be too young for Doritos? I'm not sure that Doritos wants to endorse that message even if I see Super Bowl viewers getting into the hot model.



Hurry Back - Clever premise that was executed nicely. Great acting and loved the expression of the little girl at the end.




I wonder how many of my picks will make it to the semifinals!

By the way, if you would like for me to review your Doritos commercial entry, comment with the link below.

UPDATE: Check out additional great entries that I missed before writing this post by reading the comments! For example, why does Doritos Angler have so few views?! It's hysterical!

Doritos Crash the Super Bowl Contest

I'm rooting for this one to win!

"50 Shades of Nacho Cheese"

Sorry - Not Sorry

"'Maybe we’d hear “sorry” differently if we took it as a gesture of compassion, not'... 'a sign of weakness.'”

Ms. Dahl, quoted in an Op-Ed piece in the NY Times, shared my perspective on this ad from Pantene:


"Sorry - Not Sorry," the ad's "improvement" on a simple sorry, is actually passive agressive which, in my opinion, is weaker than being apologetic for no real reason.

Also note the body language of the woman replacing "Sorry" with "Morning, got a minute?" Her shrugging shoulders, cute little head nod to the side, and meek delivery don't really convey a remarkably different message, although her hair is pretty lustrous.

Sugar by the NYC Health Department

I reached exercise session 30 this weekend, of which I'm proud especially because I'm finally starting to see some improvement compared to 8 weeks ago when I started:

 
Unfortunately, I messed up really badly with my sugar addiction.

It began this lazy Sunday afternoon with this:

If only when I saw this:

I would realize it is actually this:

This is illustrated by this great ad by the NYC Health Department:

More Ad Commentary - Jake From State Farm

I always thought that this commercial should have ended without the final line from the husband "Well, she's a guy... so."



Yea, we know that. The line adds nothing in terms of information or comedy, and it just falls flat. A better commercial would have been edited to end with the [annoying] wife's funny line "Well, she sounds hideous" (perhaps followed by the husband's reacting expression).

Another Dumb Commercial - Blue Buffalo Healthy Gourmet Cat Food

Why do ad execs insist on the annoying wife prototype? Do test studies actually indicate that consumers relate to the nagging wife?

But that's not even my main issue with this commercial:



She bemoans the lack of fruits and vegetables in cat food. 
Does this lady realize that cats are carnivores? A diet high in fruits and vegetables would actually kill her "baby."

Even if Blue Buffalo doesn't use meat by-products and the first ingredient listed in the commercial is chicken, I'm curious what percentage of the product is meat? Perhaps a cat food using meat by-products is still better for a cat than one containing a high percentage of carbs, even if the ingredients in the latter are all natural?

Blue Buffalo could include arsenic and still tout their product as all-natural. This commercial strikes me as yet another example of crafty marketing that insults the intelligence of annoying wives across the nation. 

More Shitty Commercials - Cadillac Escalade Edition

How obnoxious is this commercial, "2015 Cadillac Escalade TV Commercial - Evolution of Indulgence"?

So, am I supposed to draw from this ad that Escalades, and its forerunner, slavery, are good things? Yes, watch not so carefully - this piece of shit actually features slaves.

 

There's no doubt that the advertising executives responsible are aware of their homage to slavery because they unsuccessfully attempt to offset the offensiveness by casting the modern-day Escalade driver as African-American with a white man-servant. How does this make your shitty commercial better, idiots? 

 

Fittingly enough, the commercial was followed on cable tv by the also shitty movie musical Evita, directly to a number where Antonio Banderas is furiously singing an awful rock number about tumultuous regime upheavals and military coups preceding an earthquake. I thought I saw somewhere in the mess an Escalade, the vehicle of choice for dictators and future wannabe oppressors.

p.s. While the featured song in the commercial, "Fame" by David Bowie is pretty catchy, Youtube commenters have noted that its critical lyrics (such as "Fame, puts you there where things are hollow") don't exactly jive with the elitist/luxury brand messaging of Escalade. Is this an oversight by neglectful ad execs, or some warped inside joke?

Effing Advertising Executives

I don't even blame the kids for these awful Halos commercials, which involve adults kowtowing to bratty child actors losing their shit over mandarins in the most lame representation of parenting ever:

http://halosfun.com/halos-videos/halos-mandarins-tv-ad-duckies/

Isn't this kid too effing old for floaties in the tub and rubber duckies?